Ma Says

Ma says
city of plants

“eat broccoli”

Ma says

a kind of consumption

“don't scream”

Ma says

articulation eats the world

God gave us tasteys

for maple ice cream

Ma says

of self no end

“Put your gloves on”

Ma says

public school

“Don't splash.”

Ma says

for what music and how

God gave us garbage can

covers to crash

the wall of resolve

And nice dirty bodies

it's true

Ma says

to be heard is

Ma says

GOD LIVES

a bunch of times

Either Ma's wrong, or else God is.

The Doldrums

I didn't want to go back there
But it, I guess, would not be fair
To stick to friendly Philly air
or convalesce and sit and stare
Mistakes I've made make me aware
(But I ignore them with my thumbs)
My homeworld's now in disrepair
As I'm back in The Doldrums.

A table and a wooden chair
My parents: my concessionaire
They open up my box for air
Even take me to Times Square
I call my friends, they're busy, they're
avoiding me...or just not there.
I shrug, "I don't need those dum-dums."
It's nice, pretending not to care
As I'm back in The Doldrums.

Games on Steam for cheaper fare
This is my last purchase, I swear!
My gamepad's what I've got to bear
My individual exile scare
I'll have the barber cut my hair
Or have the dentist clean my gums
I've got till school begins to spare
As I'm back in The Doldrums.

My little game of solitaire
Is what I'm stuck in, sans my chums
So I'll relax and dig Au Pairs
As I'm back in The Doldrums.

Warm, Tonight

"A Killer Snout"
We laugh about
it as we sit here drinking

A Dirty shell
is just as well
as somewhere else for thinking

The future and I
sit face to face
Maudlin roles
In a cheerful place

So just for now I'll ignore that I'm sinking

Where will you go?
What will you do?
Questions we both answer

Those words are just
A wanderlust
Reality's a cancer

So much we know
We don't wanna hear
So let's empty that
pitcher of beer

And I'll sit here, as carefree as a dancer

Paranoia's
got a hold on me
but how long can I shield myself
from what I don't wanna see?

But at least our drunken faces
are resonating in the light,

and at least some of us
will be warm, tonight.

It's closing time
And so we climb
Out of our pit of mercy

If we can't sit
well, this is it
Shake hands, bow, or curtsy

Our time in this place
seems so inane
but as I walk to the bus
in the pouring rain

My fear returns and naturally, it hurts me

Paranoia's
got a hold on me
but how long can I shield myself
from what I don't wanna see?

But at least our drunken faces
are resonating in the light,

and at least some of us
will be warm, tonight.

At least all of us
got home alright

But it's gonna take more than that
to be warm, tonight.

New Noise

A burrowing ache in my fingers, my neck, and my shoulders

Is the result of indecision.

Seven years I dreamed of a stage, a gilded cage

Five years I dreamed of guitar, a rising star

And all that time, my pen never left the page.

That singular fact has led me instead to turn

To places where it’s no longer fun to think

And I expect to be paid merely for the paper’s ink.

I feel…Refused.

This music stirs my frustrations like a fondue

Which thin to chowder and finally stew

And a silence follows which preludes a bursting of steam:

CAN I SCREAM?

My predispositions are out the door,

I pound my fists, my feet stomp the floor

I grip the invisible microphone stand

Like a rattle

I’m ready for battle

I’m never felt this obsessed

I no longer feel so possessed

But liberated, a frequency

Which is mine

I’m frozen in time

Like four who were Refused themselves

So they Refused everyone else

I lack the motion to move to the new beat

The new beat of selling your thoughts

If your soul isn’t worth their time

The new beat of keeping yourself on track

To deviate is a crime

The new beat of anger, the new beat of loss

The new beat of false opportunity

The new beat of destroying yourself

The new beat of destroying unity

The new beat will remove you from yourself

It consciously tries to blank you

The new beat!

The new beat!

The new beat!

Thank You

Twitch

I have a weird nervous twitch

In my left eye

It started flaring up again

Recently

On a field trip as a high school freshman

It twitched when some hot senior

Fixed my stupid Harry Potter glasses

And smiled at me

I’m on my living room table

(We’re friends again)

Making pylons and probes

Pylons and probes

Pylons and probes

Keep it up.

Alt-4-E, 4-E, 4-E,

I have a routine going

Not that I’m accomplishing

Much but somehow leading a fake future army

To victory is the closest I come to feeling

Like I’m accomplishing much of anything

These days.

Did you call your uncle?

No, haven’t gotten around to it

Plus there’s a time difference,

Click click click click 4-E

Well, you need to be thinking about this

Click click twitch twitch 4-E, 5-Z,

And that, don’t forget that

Click twitch twitch 5-Z-Z-Z

You know if this writing thing doesn’t work out

Twitch twitch 4-E

Law could be perfect for you

Click click attack.

But there’s money

Twitch.

And you never did get an internship

Twitch.

So you need to be thinking about this.

You need to be thinking about this.

You need to be thinking about this.

Good game

Unplugged

Thin wires sing weakly and hoarse

Black residue clings mischievously to fingertips

Pickups lean off-kilter

It matters not; they are silent.

Was it three years? Four years? Five?

Such claims would be unfair.

Just a collection of moments

Chords strung out of sequence, only occasionally,

Without a clear goal.

They don't sing loud enough

Play faster

Fingers don't hold tight enough

Play faster

Grasping for the frets, for the pick,

for meaning.

The human voice has wires

Notes that don't ring clear enough

Not enough force to strum through

If there was an amplifier

And the black rusty glue was brushed clean

There would be a symphony

Not a cacophony

The best amplifier is in my head

And if there's only one outlet

Why plug in anywhere else?