Men's

"Damn, man, I can't figure out these bisexual girls from UArts," he says from his urinal to mine like there's an antenna on my pee station that operates on his frequency and I smile like I would at a homeless person. Did you know they keep mouthwash in this bathroom? Shit, they've got it all covered: wash the sin out of your hands and face and then rinse it out of your main sin receptor before filling it again with leaden water. I'm sweating out of my eyes and I still have the singer's itch. Performing always seems less inspired when you've been forced prematurely into the spotlight.

"Have you met the prisoner? Tell them the story of your crime, friend. 

If that's OK with you."

Numbers Game 12/13/10

11:

i miss you! you've always been such a good friend, like when you offered to let me borrow your body, and even tried to teach me how to use it. we used to pal around so much back in the day...i was so chubby and you had the aura of scandal in every molecule within a yard of you. you care so much about me that you organize panels of cross-dimensional adjudicators just to figure out if i am still as nice as you used to think i was. lol! you're such an open book...no wonder I still don't understand you!

24:

you are so so so cute and flaky and nice and insensitive and fun and artificial and smart and untrustworthy and nerdy and obnoxious and clever and immature and sexy and impulsive and outgoing and weak and easy to talk to and you are breaking my heart and i can't wait to see you again!!!! :)

Cup O Joe

Caffeine

makes

me

Tick tick tick think think think work work work

Create an empire

Or destroy it

And why not?

It’s all in my hands

My thin as lightning, fast as paper hands

Or is it…? Wait

No time to think!

I need to think!

My brain crawls in and out of my

Leaky ear holes

Stops to say hello

To passersby

Procrastination is a gentle friend

She hates me to worry

She hates me when I’m like that

She hates me; loves me

Put some drawers on, brain!

Gee whiz! Time to philosophize,

analyze and

another big word

No, sorry, sir

Not available.

Catch you on the flipside?

Maybe if I had some coffee

I could focus

That’s how anything gets done, after all

With the help of some drug

So I drink

So I can think

No time to think!

I need to, I need to, I need to…

Tick tick tick think think think work work work

Done!

What the fuck did I just write?

All My Friends

    Those damn birds were harping like car alarms yesterday when I took that first step outside my apartment and I planted my cane in the sidewalk the way I do everyday like I’m trying to drag the ground under my feet which is so often the way I do things and I did so all the way to the subway where I had to sit next to the same blond teenage mother with her fucking baby again and good sweet Christ the little fucker was smiling at me which I can’t understand because I was scowling and glaring him down like I wanted him to melt off his bones the whole damn time but he just smiled and laughed and his mother cooed and cooed like a retarded owl but eventually I got off the damn thing and went to the office where McKinney was making another one of his bullshit “New Media” presentations and good sweet Christ I should’ve fired him right there on the spot but the other directors think he has some good ideas so I just scowled at him and he gave me a doll-faced smile like he couldn’t even tell but that’s not even the worst part because the worst part is when I went to the corner deli that I go to every day and I ordered tuna on rye like I do every day and I always say “Tony, not so much mayo, please not so much mayo” but lo and fucking behold there was about a metric ton of mayo on the sandwich and I never want to start a fuss so I just scraped it off and I scowled at Tony too but he just smiled like he just baked me my favorite pie which is obviously far from the truth and then I went back to my apartment, got washed up and went to bed…
    …and then the next morning I heard a crash and a bang and a boom and a ca-crack-cra-kow and when I looked outside my window there were no birds chirping and no cars on the street and most of the houses on my block looked like burning eggshells so I thought “My God, My God, the terrorists picked us, they picked here” and I kicked myself for living in such a bull’s-eye of a city and I wondered if all my friends would be okay and I remember praying “Dear God, let my friends be ok, just let them get out of here alright” and I kicked myself again for wishing this on them because I knew they just couldn’t have deserved it and I nearly cried at the thought but then I heard an ambulance siren coming down the street and a dozen people came out of the back of the vehicle shouting for people to come out of their homes and I saw that mom with her brat and McKinney in his dumb gray suit and Tony from the deli, still in his mayo-smeared uniform…
    …so I heaved a sigh of relief and took a step out of my apartment, dragging the ground under me and wearing a beaming scowl.