In 20XX

(Pronounced, "In Twenty Ex-ty Ex")

In 20XX,
there will be no Jersey Shore
Tidal waves will swallow seagulls
And they all will squawk no more

In 20XX,
We will go to war with Spain
While we won't know why we started it
We'll say our rights remain

In 20XX,
It's illegal to have sex
Children are cloned from tissue
That's extracted from folks' necks.

In 20XX,
There's no politics or law
When all decisions are provided
By one mighty robot's maw

In 20XX,

Google will control all life

Cameras in every cranny

Watching husband, child and wife

In 20XX,

Humans will escape to Mars

But their journey will be thwarted

By a host of shooting stars

There's no doubt: in the future

All our problems will be double

But if I don't live till XX

It's someone else's trouble.

Three About A Neckbeard

Neckbeard

Nerdy, brutish

Tickling, growing, shouting

A sign of maturity, apathy, or lack of fashion sense

Chinstrap

Neckbeard

"Unix Coder."

Is he me?

I don't know Unix.

"Learn."

Neckbeard

Shaving it's tough.

Is it worth the struggle?

Who am I doing this for, then?

A girl

The Doldrums

I didn't want to go back there
But it, I guess, would not be fair
To stick to friendly Philly air
or convalesce and sit and stare
Mistakes I've made make me aware
(But I ignore them with my thumbs)
My homeworld's now in disrepair
As I'm back in The Doldrums.

A table and a wooden chair
My parents: my concessionaire
They open up my box for air
Even take me to Times Square
I call my friends, they're busy, they're
avoiding me...or just not there.
I shrug, "I don't need those dum-dums."
It's nice, pretending not to care
As I'm back in The Doldrums.

Games on Steam for cheaper fare
This is my last purchase, I swear!
My gamepad's what I've got to bear
My individual exile scare
I'll have the barber cut my hair
Or have the dentist clean my gums
I've got till school begins to spare
As I'm back in The Doldrums.

My little game of solitaire
Is what I'm stuck in, sans my chums
So I'll relax and dig Au Pairs
As I'm back in The Doldrums.

Sausage Stars

I like sausage stars.
Microcosms of sausage betwixt
An aurora of cheese
The pimentos and olives
Streak across the night sky
Bake for an hour in the heart of the sun.

I could fly
between the rings of ranch
past the peppers
around the wonton crystal
of the star's radiance
But if we're being frank
They're orbiting me
This time of year
I am awash in their glow

Shame, since everyone else
is always so full so early
But I am a black hole
I have not grown old of the radiance of stars

So I fill myself with a constellation
And sit happily as they supernova.

Shatter

In our game,
there is a paddle
and there are three balls,
which bounce not in a perfect array
but one which shifts
erratic,
tumultuous,
chaotic.

And the balls must come home to the paddle.

The advantage to having three
is that while they may not always
coexist harmoniously
The player receives more Points
As long as they all stay.

If one is lost, then Points,
the lifeblood and ultimate goal of the game
accrue slower.
Still, there is a kind of harmony:
an ease of play.

So if one bounces off the other two
Not out of
Malice
Sin or
Spite
but because, like the others,
it needed to bounce,
They will likely refuse him
It's hard for three to come home
To one space
So two may take the same angle
Form a twisted strand
of DNA
While the other remains on the outside

In a dire situation, the paddle
will always choose the two over the one
More Points that way.

Maintaining one is easier still than two
for a time.
But eventually that one will move faster
and faster
until, panicked and desperate, it loses control

And then there will be no paddle
To come home to.

Dear Living Room Table

Thanks a lot for that big mess

I was in some real distress

When the glass of beer I sat on you

Bumped my arm and went “splat” on you.

(There was much excess)

Table, what a pest!

I should drop you in the outdoor murk

for turning me mad and berserk

You had my laptop set to Facebook

I'm sure you can bet I, spaced, looked

and gawked instead of doing work.

Table, what a jerk!

How come you hid my bill for air

Under my mags without a care

That I just finished reading

Though you knew I would be needing

it to keep sweat off my derriere!

But table, au contraire.

No more will you keep my stuff

All hodge-podge like piles of fluff

No more will you let distractions

Keep me from all life's attractions

No more will I fumble

through the jumble

of my papers, my controllers, and my coat

This is it. Get out, you're fired.

('Cause you're the perfect scapegoat)

Numbers Game 12/15/10

5:

i haven't heard from you in ages! probably because we despise each other. i see you're doing well! probably because you say how badly everyone else is doing. you always seem so smart! probably because you quote so many smart people. you have so many friends! probably because they don't spend any time around you. you're always onto the next big thing! probably because you're never good enough at something to stick with it.

why don't we ever hang out?
probably because i'm afraid we're more alike than i know.

Formspring.me Poem

fuck off
i am sick and tired of hearing you speak
god i lose fifty brain cells every time you open your mouth
and you are so ugly
why can't you keep a boyfriend
why can't you keep a girlfriend
why can't you keep a friend
just come off your high horse
stop pretending you're better than everyone else
stop trying to achieve anything
stop moving
one of these days you'll realize how insignificant you are
i hope you get raped
i hope you get shot
i hope everyone you love turns their back on you because that is what you deserve

[x] Ask anonymously (Keep friendship)

Manifesto

A manifesto sacred to me:
everything's better if it's free.

Holding hands, watching a cheesy 3D flick
These visuals are mind-blowing if it's free.

A verse-worthy burger with guacamole and bacon
Is mouthwateringly decadent if it's free.

Advice from a mentor over a pint
I learn more and get drunk faster if it's free.

"Come on, dude, it's road trip time!"
Three hours in a car is paradise if it's free.

Four years studying journalism
Sure, the work was worth it...if it's free.

A man asks me to check my thetan count
A chance for enlightenment if it's free.

"You coming to the party? There's gonna be chicks there!"
I'm waiting for you to tell me if it's free.

I don't mind putting in the effort for her
But a kiss is so much sweeter if it's free.

No doubt, when a book has "Max Webber" on the cover
I'll hear, "Sure, I'll read it...if it's free."

Numbers Game 12/13/10

11:

i miss you! you've always been such a good friend, like when you offered to let me borrow your body, and even tried to teach me how to use it. we used to pal around so much back in the day...i was so chubby and you had the aura of scandal in every molecule within a yard of you. you care so much about me that you organize panels of cross-dimensional adjudicators just to figure out if i am still as nice as you used to think i was. lol! you're such an open book...no wonder I still don't understand you!

24:

you are so so so cute and flaky and nice and insensitive and fun and artificial and smart and untrustworthy and nerdy and obnoxious and clever and immature and sexy and impulsive and outgoing and weak and easy to talk to and you are breaking my heart and i can't wait to see you again!!!! :)

Warm, Tonight

"A Killer Snout"
We laugh about
it as we sit here drinking

A Dirty shell
is just as well
as somewhere else for thinking

The future and I
sit face to face
Maudlin roles
In a cheerful place

So just for now I'll ignore that I'm sinking

Where will you go?
What will you do?
Questions we both answer

Those words are just
A wanderlust
Reality's a cancer

So much we know
We don't wanna hear
So let's empty that
pitcher of beer

And I'll sit here, as carefree as a dancer

Paranoia's
got a hold on me
but how long can I shield myself
from what I don't wanna see?

But at least our drunken faces
are resonating in the light,

and at least some of us
will be warm, tonight.

It's closing time
And so we climb
Out of our pit of mercy

If we can't sit
well, this is it
Shake hands, bow, or curtsy

Our time in this place
seems so inane
but as I walk to the bus
in the pouring rain

My fear returns and naturally, it hurts me

Paranoia's
got a hold on me
but how long can I shield myself
from what I don't wanna see?

But at least our drunken faces
are resonating in the light,

and at least some of us
will be warm, tonight.

At least all of us
got home alright

But it's gonna take more than that
to be warm, tonight.

Marmots in Winter

The yellow-bellied marmots

in the winter of o-three

Were dazed, surprised

And traumatized

At what they all did see

Their leader, Griffin, squirreled away

With clanking metal sound:

Rifles, revolvers,

“Problem solvers!”

He said. They rallied round.

“My brethren, come this springtime

When our hibernation's done

Wolf and beast

Will come to feast

But this time we'll have won.

The humans' magic guns will surely

Fell our predators

The hunter's fire

Is my desire

For we are warriors!"

As Griffin held his head up high

And waited for applause

The others praised him

Began to raise him

Like a god-like Santa Claus

But one young groundhog stood agape

Wondering in defeat:

“We don't have thumbs

To hold these guns...

And where's our food to eat?”

New Noise

A burrowing ache in my fingers, my neck, and my shoulders

Is the result of indecision.

Seven years I dreamed of a stage, a gilded cage

Five years I dreamed of guitar, a rising star

And all that time, my pen never left the page.

That singular fact has led me instead to turn

To places where it’s no longer fun to think

And I expect to be paid merely for the paper’s ink.

I feel…Refused.

This music stirs my frustrations like a fondue

Which thin to chowder and finally stew

And a silence follows which preludes a bursting of steam:

CAN I SCREAM?

My predispositions are out the door,

I pound my fists, my feet stomp the floor

I grip the invisible microphone stand

Like a rattle

I’m ready for battle

I’m never felt this obsessed

I no longer feel so possessed

But liberated, a frequency

Which is mine

I’m frozen in time

Like four who were Refused themselves

So they Refused everyone else

I lack the motion to move to the new beat

The new beat of selling your thoughts

If your soul isn’t worth their time

The new beat of keeping yourself on track

To deviate is a crime

The new beat of anger, the new beat of loss

The new beat of false opportunity

The new beat of destroying yourself

The new beat of destroying unity

The new beat will remove you from yourself

It consciously tries to blank you

The new beat!

The new beat!

The new beat!

Thank You

The Shape of Lunch to Come

Consider the wrapped package:

A compact little treat

Inside there's more than meets the eye

Now, eyes, eye the meat

Consider now this tower

Apartments in a stack

Each floor's tenants all stare back at you

From the unsuspecting snack

Consider next the roof

The crispy golden bun

The gleaming dome your teeth will breach

Before the rest is done

Consider a tomato slice

Caressed by spicy mustard

The outside is an embryo

Around the deep red custard

Consider leaves of lettuce

Caught firmly in the middle

The crispness and the color prelude

Meaty child of griddle

I take the pickles off

because I don't really like them

Consider next the meat itself

A juicy, flame-broiled disc

While it's the crux of this meal

It leaves swiftly (tisk-tisk).

Consider cheddar cheese

The ying to patty's yang

It leaves you with a feeling

That makes you call out, “Dang.”

Now that you've finished off your meal

And gathered quite the scoop

Consider next the bathroom

So you can wash your hands.

(dedicated to 500 Degrees)

Cup O Joe

Caffeine

makes

me

Tick tick tick think think think work work work

Create an empire

Or destroy it

And why not?

It’s all in my hands

My thin as lightning, fast as paper hands

Or is it…? Wait

No time to think!

I need to think!

My brain crawls in and out of my

Leaky ear holes

Stops to say hello

To passersby

Procrastination is a gentle friend

She hates me to worry

She hates me when I’m like that

She hates me; loves me

Put some drawers on, brain!

Gee whiz! Time to philosophize,

analyze and

another big word

No, sorry, sir

Not available.

Catch you on the flipside?

Maybe if I had some coffee

I could focus

That’s how anything gets done, after all

With the help of some drug

So I drink

So I can think

No time to think!

I need to, I need to, I need to…

Tick tick tick think think think work work work

Done!

What the fuck did I just write?

Astronaut

I wanna be

an astronaut man

I'll seal the airlock

to my cardboard box

jumble the sides and make

"k-csssh" PA noises to announce

to myself that we are leaving Earth.

I'll check the systems:

Yes! We're go. And the thrusters

penetrate me through the heavens

...or so I'll say, taking a swig of my juice.

I wonder what the moon people will be like

Are they nice? Do they share their toys?

Are they a capitalist society, or do they have

an entirely different social structure from ours?

These questions will weigh heavily on me, as I look

out the window and thank God that at least now

I won't have to worry about finishing school.

All My Friends

    Those damn birds were harping like car alarms yesterday when I took that first step outside my apartment and I planted my cane in the sidewalk the way I do everyday like I’m trying to drag the ground under my feet which is so often the way I do things and I did so all the way to the subway where I had to sit next to the same blond teenage mother with her fucking baby again and good sweet Christ the little fucker was smiling at me which I can’t understand because I was scowling and glaring him down like I wanted him to melt off his bones the whole damn time but he just smiled and laughed and his mother cooed and cooed like a retarded owl but eventually I got off the damn thing and went to the office where McKinney was making another one of his bullshit “New Media” presentations and good sweet Christ I should’ve fired him right there on the spot but the other directors think he has some good ideas so I just scowled at him and he gave me a doll-faced smile like he couldn’t even tell but that’s not even the worst part because the worst part is when I went to the corner deli that I go to every day and I ordered tuna on rye like I do every day and I always say “Tony, not so much mayo, please not so much mayo” but lo and fucking behold there was about a metric ton of mayo on the sandwich and I never want to start a fuss so I just scraped it off and I scowled at Tony too but he just smiled like he just baked me my favorite pie which is obviously far from the truth and then I went back to my apartment, got washed up and went to bed…
    …and then the next morning I heard a crash and a bang and a boom and a ca-crack-cra-kow and when I looked outside my window there were no birds chirping and no cars on the street and most of the houses on my block looked like burning eggshells so I thought “My God, My God, the terrorists picked us, they picked here” and I kicked myself for living in such a bull’s-eye of a city and I wondered if all my friends would be okay and I remember praying “Dear God, let my friends be ok, just let them get out of here alright” and I kicked myself again for wishing this on them because I knew they just couldn’t have deserved it and I nearly cried at the thought but then I heard an ambulance siren coming down the street and a dozen people came out of the back of the vehicle shouting for people to come out of their homes and I saw that mom with her brat and McKinney in his dumb gray suit and Tony from the deli, still in his mayo-smeared uniform…
    …so I heaved a sigh of relief and took a step out of my apartment, dragging the ground under me and wearing a beaming scowl.

Twitch

I have a weird nervous twitch

In my left eye

It started flaring up again

Recently

On a field trip as a high school freshman

It twitched when some hot senior

Fixed my stupid Harry Potter glasses

And smiled at me

I’m on my living room table

(We’re friends again)

Making pylons and probes

Pylons and probes

Pylons and probes

Keep it up.

Alt-4-E, 4-E, 4-E,

I have a routine going

Not that I’m accomplishing

Much but somehow leading a fake future army

To victory is the closest I come to feeling

Like I’m accomplishing much of anything

These days.

Did you call your uncle?

No, haven’t gotten around to it

Plus there’s a time difference,

Click click click click 4-E

Well, you need to be thinking about this

Click click twitch twitch 4-E, 5-Z,

And that, don’t forget that

Click twitch twitch 5-Z-Z-Z

You know if this writing thing doesn’t work out

Twitch twitch 4-E

Law could be perfect for you

Click click attack.

But there’s money

Twitch.

And you never did get an internship

Twitch.

So you need to be thinking about this.

You need to be thinking about this.

You need to be thinking about this.

Good game

A Thanksgiving Poem

Let's give thanks

Let's get fat

Let's put on the pilgrim's hat

Let's go out

Let's stay in

Let's sit down for our din-din

Let's hold hands

Let's say grace

Let's all never leave this place

Let's eat turkey

Let's eat pie

Let's get full and drunk and die

Let us keep our faith as our world's shattering around us

Let us forget all the things that constantly surround us

Let us take our places and we'll let this moment ground us

Let us fuck

Let us fight

Let us kiss and say “Goodnight”

Let's all smile

Let's all beam

Let's spray on some nice whipped cream

Let's all laugh

Let's guffaw

Let's remove the things we saw

Let's have wine

Let's have beer

Aren't you glad that we're all here?

Right now we've got turkey carving,

But tomorrow, we'll be starving.

Project Reality

Love is Nintendo’s third home video game console.

Japan, North America and PAL regions value it greatly and are deeply committed to it.

Philosophy and religion had weaknesses.

Japanese social interactions in later life are modeled on

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

The concept of “universal love” also received praise from critics.

Cartridge size varied from a general expression of positive sentiment

to the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes

the evolution of the first person shooter.

Competing systems from Lust and Hate are both considered temporary.

Pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Turok,

was discontinued in 2001.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This piece was created from words and phrases on these two pages:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendo_64

Unplugged

Thin wires sing weakly and hoarse

Black residue clings mischievously to fingertips

Pickups lean off-kilter

It matters not; they are silent.

Was it three years? Four years? Five?

Such claims would be unfair.

Just a collection of moments

Chords strung out of sequence, only occasionally,

Without a clear goal.

They don't sing loud enough

Play faster

Fingers don't hold tight enough

Play faster

Grasping for the frets, for the pick,

for meaning.

The human voice has wires

Notes that don't ring clear enough

Not enough force to strum through

If there was an amplifier

And the black rusty glue was brushed clean

There would be a symphony

Not a cacophony

The best amplifier is in my head

And if there's only one outlet

Why plug in anywhere else?